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The long road to the perfect place.

The road we’ve walked to this place has been long.

It has been unsure at times, winding at best, yet thankfully always filled with His grace even at its most challenging points.

It’s just that I almost don’t know how to process that we’re here.

I don’t feel like I have words to describe the emotions inside me. (I’m a writer – I always have words and I’m a bit lost without them!) I want to smile bigger than I ever have, I want to cry with joy and relief and sheer awe of His miracle, I want to hide away from everything and just take a little time to get to know this new place.

I want to embrace this reality. Not just be in awe, not just be thankful, not just rejoice. I want to go beyond the emotion of the realization of this new life being formed inside me. I want to step into a place of knowing. Knowing He has really done this. Knowing firmly relying trust that He who created this life will sustain it. Knowing peace so I can know really know joy.

I want the same belief from which I knew He would do this, to fill me now knowing He has it all covered.

I want to be the woman of peace I was made to be, the faith-filled-and-confident-in-her-God wife and mom that I want my family to have, the joy-filled and trusting daughter of the King I was given the rights to by His grace.

In this place I hear His words reminding me, see His eyes locking gaze with mine, feel His presence constantly filling this place. “I created this life and I will sustain it. I have done this!”

So I allow myself to lean in, to keep my gaze fixed on His, to embrace this reality. To sit for as long as I need to in this place and worship, allowing the words to take their time to form and my heart to settle in to the greatness of what He has done. This is no small thing. And we’ve walked a long way to get here.

And it’s so good to be here, sitting at His feet, knowing He has done this and is forming every perfect and miraculous part of this child.

It’s so good I don’t have words.

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